I'm sorry. I'm sorry I
didn't know it's supposed to be high T-cells and low viral load. I'm sorry I
didn't listen to you better this evening. I'm sorry I'm not prettier,
thinner, taller, funnier, smarter, or more graceful. Sorry I walk too
slowly. Sorry my socks don't always match and occasionally my underwear is
inside out. Sorry I haven't been a better mother. Or daughter, sister,
wife, or friend. Sorry for opportunities squandered. I'm sorry I said
[insert anything here]. I'm sorry I didn't say [ditto]. Sorry I ran over that
rabbit in 1986. And 1999. And 2005, it was never on purpose. Sorry I
wasn't a better caretaker for my cat/dog/horse/turtle/fish/guinea
pig/hamster/gerbil. I'm sorry I didn't pick up that rubber band on the sidewalk
yesterday, because now some poor cat will get tangled in it and die. I'm sorry
I brushed my mother's teeth during her last days instead of just holding her
hand. I'm sorry I latched onto you like a barnacle on a ship. Or a lamprey on a
shark, and I'm sorry I don't know the difference between a metaphor and a
simile. I’m sorry I said “I’m sorry” in 115 emails in 2012. I’m sorry I never delete
emails. I'm sorry I'm dull and shy and inept, and I sometimes wonder when
you'll grow impatient and move on to more interesting and
challenging companions.
When it comes right down
to it, I'm sorry for taking up space. It seems a waste. Yet I'm aware that
this reveals my huge ego. So I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I'm sorry.
But we seek progress, not perfection, and there is progress. There are even a few things that
I'm not sorry for. I'm not sorry I blocked traffic one day to help a turtle
cross the road. I'm not sorry I had a daughter, or went to Harvard, or gave up
my car, or that I broke my foot. I’m not sorry I fell in love. I'm not sorry
that when they made me play an Oompa Loompa at the GLBT chorus concert, I
held up signs during the final show as I moved crossed the stage: "Will
trade" "sex for" "speaking role." It brought the
house down.
And I'm not really all
that sorry I latched on to you.
Anyone who blocks traffic to help a turtle cross the road is a good person in my book! I'm not sorry I follow you on Blogger, and I'm glad you're back!
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